so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
