How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
