i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
