What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize