How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize