It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
True college students do jello shots in the library
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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