Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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