You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
