The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
