At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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