We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
