Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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