Dual....:-)
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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