'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
