I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
