apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
