just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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