allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
