if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
