is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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