She announced her abortion via fbk
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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