im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
