I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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