guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
