just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize