happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
