week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
