I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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