I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize