I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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