Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
