I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
