Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
