K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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