I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
