She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
