1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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