How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
please come you make the beer taste better
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
