If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize