i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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