do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
