Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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