You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
