there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
