She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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