sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
