Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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