Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize