It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
