And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
