I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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