***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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