but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
