She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
