I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
