I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
