Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize