i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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