I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
